Der Witz ist um die Ecke

I think this means that somebody missed the joke (literally the joke is around the corner). Only this time the joke was on me. Thought I was funny when being home and a good girl last night going to bed early, knowing that CG would come in late and most possibly drunk. Left a post-it on the wine bottle in the fridge saying "pee". Apparently he came home late, but not in the mood for another drink and went straight to bed. So much for trying...

The weather man

20°C

And I'm sure he's a man, since he's always wrong. This is what he said about today's weather. And guess what? Two drops of rain so far, about 24° and nice.

He better not be wrong about tomorrow, when I plan to take the boat out. The promise is 25°C and sun. If not, who can I sue?

My gay friend

Always fun to hang out with.

Drags

Mr Schweiz

The former one was driving one of the cars. Fair play to him supporting the sisters.

The pink club

Queer groups

Pride @ UBS is extremely funny, since UBS is the most conservative bank in Switzerland. Bet the CEO will hate this. MOHAHAHAHAHA!

The officers though...mmmm!

Gay crowd

Jeez

For the first time in my life I have marched in a gay parade. And I wasn't exactly alone. And as much fun as it is hanging out with gay friends, I am terrified of the lesbians. They all look militant and aggressive. And they all have short hair and walk like men.

But it was fun. Marching, singing, drinking, chatting, flirting. Yeah ok the last bit I didn't but there were lotsa it going on.

Gay parade

Just when I thought I had a lazy day in front of me a friend called to ask if I want to join the gay parade today. But of course. It's fun to hang out with gay guys. Plus I never turn down a party. More later. http://www.csdzurich.ch/

The bread-test

Another little test for CG is to monitor how long he will leave that bread he bought last week in the kitchen. Since about 5 days it's rock hard and you can probably kill people with it. Wanna bet?

Pathetic

This is really CG's taste. And he made me listen to it. Poor me... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsD6uEZsIsU http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ddn4MGaS3N4

CG's favvo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lYL3Mri3pQ Well CG may have nice qualities, but this is what he likes. I rest my case.

CG and his plants

Conversation the other day: CG: "that rhododendron we planted looked kinda sad". Me: "yes, I hadn't watered it for while" (thinking why didn't you do it if you saw it was sad?) But I have realized that the responsible one in our temporary household is....ME. Big surprise there. And since I have been accused of being a bit hard on CG, I have to admit he's a nice guy. Just not a very responsible one...

Useful euphemisms

But while searching for cliches I found this: Euphemisms for Stupid People Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together... He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor. Source: http://www.findcliches.com/

I'm just gay

Todays saying: "I'm just gay, I don't have to look it" apropos me giving him a nice paper bag instead of a tacky plastic bag. I tell ya. There are as many gay types as there are straight ones. Weird, huh? Cliche 1: We're all alike. Cliche 2: Actually can't think of another that would fit...help!?!

CG and his domestic skills

Intentionally left blank :) And this would be the appropriate thing to do. Nevertheless, I create small tests for him to see if it works. Like last week he had dutifully cleaned the pot he had just cooked in and eaten out of (yeah I know...we're not students anymore...but please somebody tell him!). He left it in the drying rack, and I was monitoring how long it would stay there before being put away. After four days I couldn't stand it anymore and asked perhaps if it was dry enough now to be deposited in its right place. He thinks those tests are mean. I think they are funny and sad at the same time.

Kiss-kiss-kiss vs kiss-kiss

It's quite interesting how different cultures greet. Here in Switzerland as soon as you know each other a little bit you kiss-kiss-kiss, left-right-left. The two Italians I met the other day on the other hand kiss-kiss only, right-left. You can see the problem here? Yes, we almost collided kissing straight on the mouth. Which is funny considering we had only met the same day...

Sheepish

Remember I yelled at the electricians voicemail for giving me a nasty letter? Well, today coming home he had left me a handwritten letter apologizing. I called him up, said my name and address, and informed him that I no longer was mad. Think he was quite relieved :) Turned out nobody from the maintenance company had told him about the key in the milkbox. So we agreed on a new date and the same procedure. Will be interesting to see if it works this time.

Megacooler abig

Today ze Swiss have been good to me. When getting off the train this evening the driver wished us all a "megacooler abig", which made all the passengers smile. Sometimes it takes so little. PS. Abig = evening in Swiss German

Friggin non-communicative Swiss

Got a letter some weeks ago saying that I needed to have my apartment available for inspection. They needed to check the electrical outlets or something. Compliant as I am I called them yesterday to say I'm not home, but I will put the key in the "milkbox", the box underneath the mailbox that is nowadays used for packages and not milk. Coming home I had a very nasty letter saying that I had not been available and this inspection is compulsory, and please call this number. Coming home around 11 pm I called. Guess what? No answer. So I left a very angry message saying you idiots had not communicated, that I did indeed leave the key and that I'm angry. Probably not such a good idea, but I get really irritated when people cannot communicate. Fortunately I have the name of the guy. So shame on him! Men!

Men in uniform

Gotta tell ya. Men in uniform really turn me on. Only not all of them were men, but nevermind. Sometimes I'm a "I-take-what-I-can-get-woman".

Happy, happy, happy

And I wasn't the only one who was happy...

It's raining men

For once it really was. Look at this!

Well, that was my evening. How was yours?

Five-ish

Oh gad, haven't been up until five in the morning for a very long time. Down under can really party, and ze German went along. I, of course, suggested bedtime at hmmm WHENEVER. Can feel it today I tell ya. Not sure whether I'm still drunk or just have the motherfucker of a hangover...

Down under meets Deutschland

I just wonder what R's hand is doing to CG's ear...

Difficult device

Finally, after numerous tries the phone camera finally decided to let me download the pics from yesterday. Here they are. A bit blurry, like the rest of the evening...

Technology

Who needs it? Came home, wanted to post pics and share the evening with you and the friggin phone won't work. Tried twice. Enough is enough. G'night.

The boss

Bro is in Dublin to listen to the boss tomorrow. Remember when I saw him (the boss, not my brother obviously) live at a concert in Gothenburg some 5 years ago. Gosh, did he rock! His music will never die. That in itself rocks...

Smartass

Had the question what smartass would be in German the other day. Couldn't really answer. Think "geiler arsch" is not the translation, however literal. German friend answered "Klugscheisser". Doesn't ring the same does it?

Hairy

Met my foot fetischist tonight. He is hairy. Know what I mean?

The blog rules

And while we're at it. Two things about the blog. Number one is that zurilife is still coming up as number one on google.com. Is that cool or what? The number two rule is when you comment. Please refer to the item you're commenting on, since blogspot still hasn't upgraded to show which item you're referring to. If you do comment on a recent item I can usually figure it out, but it's easier and quicker if you do state which item you want to say something about. Thanks! And please do comment. I like it even when people don't agree, believe it or not!

An accident seldom comes alone

Headline in proper English...for the Americans it is 'Bad things happens in 3's' according to my sources. Anyway. My aunt has a safe. For this safe she has one key, cleverly hidden in a shoe in the wardrobe. But you know how it is with old people. They save things. Well, my aunt decided it would be a good idea to throw away some old stuff, so she collected said stuff, drove to the garbage pick-up place and dumped. Then of course she remembered that the key was inside the shoe she had just deposited. Oh dear. After a few calls she was told when they were to pick up the trash. Dutifully she waited for about an hour, then they arrived, she told them the problem, and then begun the search. Told her she must've looked like a homeless person looking for food, but after some time the key was actually found inside a garbage bag. Fair play to her. The next incident happened a few days after when she was backing out of the garage, and straight into the garage door. "One of my grandchildren had parked the car, and as I always park with the wheels straight I didn't realize he hadn't done the same". Bang. Garage door broken. Third time lucky the next day when one of her glasses fell out of her spectacles. She had to drive to the optician only seeing with one eye. Ironic, ain't it? Who says old people's lives aren't rockin'?

Out of sync

Normally Tuesday would be my going out day. Yeah ok, was out on Tuesday but no evening is complete without a visit to "my place". And I am correct in calling it mine, considering how much money I pumped into this place. Rightfully I should be co-owner by now... Anyway, what's wrong with going out on a Thursday? Nothing if you ask me. But pls don't ask me tomorrow morning :) And CG is at the circus tonight so he's no partymate...there's a first for everything!

EURO 08 accommodation

Equally often my blog is found by people who are looking for accommodation in Zürich during the football thingie that's about to take place in June. What I can offer is a sofa. Mind you, it's a really comfortable one. However, I will require some good money for it, otherwise I cannot be bothered. If you're interested, send an email (address to be found in profile) and we'll see.

Kreisbüro

Have noticed I have a few people finding my blog by searching for Kreisbüro, so figured I would be nice and post the relevant links: Here's a description in English: http://www.international.ethz.ch/coming_ch/kreisbuero.html And here's the official site with contact details: http://www.stadt-zuerich.ch/internet/bva/pma/home/adressen/kreisbuero.html Do remember that they are not fond of internet, they prefer personal visits and always, always bring your official documents like passport, permits and stuff. And be prepared to pay. For a job they do in 2 minutes like printing a document and sign it they are likely to charge you something between 20-50 CHF. Zas ze Swiss for you.

E-cup

Tomorrow I'm meeting up with a woman who definitely would win the boob-contest. She disclosed that she has an E-cup! Oh my gad. Well, I can see she's big-chested, but still. I'm a C-cup and so I guess boat-friendgirl is, but E? That's two steps up. Eventually I will have her on my boat, and will convince her to have her assets posted here. Watch out guys :)

Aussies invading

When it rains it pours. Yesterday I got a postcard from Norwegian girl travelling in Australia. You remember these paper cards some people insists on still sending? On Saturday I have Aussie friends for dinner, as well as inviting another Aussie who lives here. Only problem is Aussie girl is a vegetarian, albeit a tolerant one so tablegrill it'll be. With lots of veggies, raclette and of course meat. And lots of catching up since last year. Nice!

Gavin & Stacey

Freshly imported from the UK this dvd came to me yesterday. Was told it was the new comedy series in Britain, and having seen Fawlty Towers, Blackadder, Yes minister and Ab Fab I was more than keen on checking this one out. And it is funny to be honest. When watching all 6 episodes in the 1st series yesterday I had a strange feeling that I knew the fat guy. And by the fourth episode or so I realized he looks just like a guy in a band I know. Identical twins! Weird. And my favourite is of course the fat girl, the friend of the main role. She is mega funny in an ironic sorta sarcastic way. My kinda gal.

Inside out

Noted yesterday that I was wearing my underwear inside out. Usually that would indicate something good, like having had "a good time" and not going home to change. However, considering that I was out with a senior citizen day before yesterday and home in bed by 11pm, I think it was just me being tired and not paying attention while dressing in the morning. How boring!

EURO 08

Today I got a letter from the Stadtpolizei. There will be increased police presence at the place I have my boat, which is more or less in the middle of all the happenings during this friggin football thingie. Even in the night. That is very comforting. Meaning if they trash my boat, I will just refer to the police not doing their job properly and cash in on the insurance. Mind you, I'd like to keep my boat intact. And I got a few points to remember according to their letter: Like don't leave valuables on the boat (well, actually the boat is the valuable thing you morons) Lock any doors (duh, I do every time but the lock can be picked by a 6-year-old so I don't think that will keep anybody out) Check on the boat regularly (I try, but be my guest to try and make the fuckin' pigeons stay out of my ship) Dock the boat properly (yeah, I do every time even under influence :). So think all will be fine. There will be a "VIP-floss" in the beginning of the lake, which ze German in my house means is a floating devide and I interprete to be a flossing place for very important people. Perhaps pretty woman will visit?

My coolest date

It is indeed special to be out with an older gentlemen. He walks like a man (Dr House), he talks like a man (Switzedütch) and he certainly looks like a man. A happy one at that.

It is funny that age doesn't make a difference. We talked like we've known each other for a really long time. And coming to think of it, it was 3 years ago I bought my boat. But on the other hand we haven't met since. This we agreed to change. The man is sms'ing and on internet. Not bad for a 82-year-old!

I have increased my dating sphere. The market is widening. Yiihhaaa!

PS. We agreed that we both look younger than our age. Another advantage of being out with a senior :)

Woody Allen

Was out tonight for dinner with a friend, this was the starter. After the drink we went downstairs for dinner, and that's when it started. We had a table next to another couple. And as you do, I checked them out. He was ordering wine when we arrived, and he was fussy. Like making a big show and dance about tasting the wine. That's always when I get a bit suspicious. You only do that if you're really a connoisseur. This guy looked liked he'd been partying the last 30 years (oh dear, better be careful!).

Anyway, he was there with a young, gorgeous woman. I hoped it was his daughter, but alas no. They kissed. Very Woody Allen.

When the opportunity arose I asked her what she was doing with him. She turned out to be 20, and he 47. You can never guess the answer. I nearly fell off my chair.

She said "well, I'm really a lesbian and he's the only man who can get me off". Curtain down.

I tell ya. It takes all sorts to make a world...

DSDS

Deutschland sucht den Superstar. Who would've known? It's a popular (in some circles) German show where they look for a decent singer as I understand it. And I happened to invite a gay guy to dinner. You can guess the rest. We're glued to the telly this evening. Hurray! Ish... It's the final between a girl-looking Lebanese-German guy and a semi-looking-good eastern-European-German-guy. No German-German involved. Except for my guest and my flatmate. Guess I'm in minority...

A hot date

On Tuesday I have the hottest date. He's 80+. He's the previous owner of my boat, and through some admin stuff that I won't go through here he rang me to say he received a credit note. I told him to cash it in, but he insisted we'd have a good bottle of wine together. So on Tuesday we're meeting and I must say I look forward. He's a funny guy. And I think he's happy that I have so much pleasure from the boat.

Drama again

Today I read in 20 min that a 16-year-old crashed with a car into a bus on spitting distance from where I live. Oh dear. Nobody hurt though. Coming home this evening I saw the bus scratching the side of a car, which had parked ridiculously on the street with half the car on the road. Haha. Idiot. Deserves it if you ask me. I tell ya. It's a happening city.

32 vs 104

Just realized today coming home that I have 36 steps to my apartment from the entrance. Made me think about Copenhagen, where I had a really cool attic apartment in a building from 1904. No elevator. 104 steps. It was like six floors. Very good exercise. Only I travelled a lot in those days and it was an endless carrying of bags upstairs. Mind you, my neighbour and I used to order food on the internet. Preferrably on a Saturday, when they had all these hunks working extra. It was a joy hearing them jogging up the 104 steps. And then actually see them. Yum. They only charged about the equivalent of about 10 CHF to deliver, and of course we ordered together so we shared the charge. Wine, water, all the heavy stuff. Those were the days...

Ironic

Must admit that I was complaining a bit to my brother today about CG. Or not complaining exactly, more relaying the facts. It was a long time ago since I heard my brother laugh that much. "So you have finally met somebody who outdrinks and outsmokes you". Touché. Guess I deserved that.

Organized chaos

CG and I have slightly different views on what a mess is. I think this is one, he thinks it's organized chaos. And I have given him sufficient warning that if he didn't clean up I would post it here. And I always keep my promises.

But so far he has kept it to his room...

Bathroom add-ons

Went to see the bathroom woman again today. And this time she couldn't stop talking. Don't think she realizes the effort it takes to discuss and negotiate in German. She wanted us to have a ciggie, a drink and do small-talk after. Phew. I tell ya. I would have chosen orange tiles just to get out of it. But gotta say, the woman does know what she's talking about so we have now agreed on toilet paper holders, soap containers and taps. Plus we went through all the choices I did last time. Ah, it's soooo cool. The shower panel, the wash basins and whatever it was I chose. Yes toilets. They are going to be standard. But did you know that they are supposed to be 40 cm above floor level? To me they looked pretty low, and I'm not exactly a tall person. So she recommended that I have the architect put them 41 cm above floor level. Maybe 41,5. Definitely not 43. Who would've known? How often do you go around thinking about your toilet?

Maikäfer

Remember the friggin big insect on my kitchen curtain? Well, I claim it was a "Maikäfer". CG tells me it was not, but what does he know? He's a man.

Anyway, today I read in 20 minutes that "Maikäfers" have invaded Europe. Ok, so Switzerland was not on the list but I'm convinced that it really was one. And had I had the guts I wouldn't have done like CG picking it up in a glass and releasing it on the balcony. I would have fucking' killed it!

Call 144

I seem to have a tendency to walk into disaster areas. This time I was innocently taking the bus home after having been out with 14-decimal guy. At the bus stop the 144 car was parked. But after looking at the one man and one woman (sorry, but men in uniform are my thing) in uniform I realized that it could not possibly be that bad. And as it turned out it was only an overdose of something, some sort of drug I would guess. I didn't stay around to play vulture. But I did enjoy the view...does that make me a bad person?

Cannot wait

CG has been gone all weekend, and I cannot wait to have him home again. It has absolutely nothing to do with me having a bug the size of a beaver (ok, so a small beaver but still) hanging on to my kitchen curtain. I have closed the kitchen door, in the hope that it will remain there until CG is back. Please come home soon!

Survivor

The grapevine I got last year from my wine provider turned out to be a survivor. Left to its own devices on the balcony the whole winter, no water, no nurturing. And yet, it's bouncing right back. Cool.

Zürich never disappoints me

The wide blue yonder...

More boobs

And fuckin' hell...I think she wins!

Recovery day

Yesterday was really lazy. Had brunch with a friend, took a long slow walk through town and enjoyed the weather. Partying was surprisingly enough not on the agenda. However, today it's Monday and it's time for a cruise on the lake again. Tina and I are off, and hopefully she won't feed the fish today...

A tad drunk

Ah gad, they did it again. Gotta learn to stay away from Americans.

Boobs

Got accidentally taken for a porn star today. Lucky me. Now, if I could just get rid of that "(un)comfortable" cushion in the middle...

Whatever

And my view of American people just improved...HAHAHA! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbmarWHlKTQ

Another fabulous day in Zürich

What's not to love? I just not know who to choose...so I'm gonna take them both!

I should've known better

Jeez, I really should have learned. There are Americans and Americans. And not all of them are lightweights. Would you believe that I was the first one to leave? But tomorrow I will feel so much better than them when we're going for a cruise on the lake at 1.30pm...

TGIF

After a bit of a rest I am almost ready to go out. Tonight will be interesting, am meeting with an Italian-American, another American and a Scandinavian. Three men and me. What can I say? I'm irresistable...

I got into CG's pants

Finally. And it was fantastic. But let me elaborate. CG and I was out on the boat this evening. Started to be a bit windy, so clothes started to seem like a good idea. Picking his trousers up, I noticed they looked a bit like mine. Actually a lot like mine. So I asked if I could try them on. And did. And guess what? Not even did my ass look better than his in his jeans, but I could also close the top button! I win. Especially since he looked a bit ridiculous in my pants :)

CG constantly under attack

CG is a lovely man in many ways, but as every man he has flaws. Only two that I know of though :). Well, one of them is his addiction to this particular computer game, which talks. Things like "you're under attack" or "construction completed" echoes out of his computer. Which I try to top with my excellent music taste blasting on the cd. It's a constant battle...

Sexy lady

Was out with the boat last weekend and one of my acquaintances had seen me. When I saw her the next day she said to me "you looked sexy lady". Hmmm. It would've been so nice to hear it from a man, but as another friendgirl told me "when you hear it from a woman you know they mean it". No ulterior motive. Unless they are lesbos of course, but this one wasn't. I have decided to take it as a compliment.

Hooligans

According to todays newspaper 100,000 people will invade Zürich for the football thingie in June. Add this to a population of around 360,000 and you realize it's quite a lot. They gonna close off streets, and make it difficult for all of us living here. All in the name of friggin sport!

I so do not look forward to the city being trashed by hooligans.

Bus timetable

Can you believe how seldom the buses go on the countryside? If at all!

Plättli

It is amazing how far out of the city one has to go in order to look at tiles for the bathroom. Think the architect on purpose has chosen all the suppliers that are the furthest possible away. Bubikon!?! Who ever even heard of it?

Even though the selection wasn't large, I think I found my tiles...we likey? It's gonna be the left light grey colour on the walls but no pattern, and the square darker grey on the floor.

Patterns are so 70's, and besides, I like to colour it up myself with bathroom mat, towels and other stuff. Simple but elegant!

Rockin' in Zug

Had to visit Zug again. This time we were driving there, parked the car and tried to locate the pub where we were supposed to be. Turned out to be like the blind leading the blind. "I followed you, since you looked like you knew where you were going". "No, I was following you". Hmmm. 45 min later we found the place. Phew! Turned out to be just around the corner from where we parked. Guess there is something to say about women and directions... But it rocked! And my friendgirl Tina was was singing, surprising everybody with her voice. Good times. Especially for a Monday...

Up to my usual antics

Ok, so maybe I don't like these friends as much as I thought. Just had a text message saying "great to see you happy and up to your usual antics". Hmmm. Had to google antics, since I connected that with old furniture but I guess that's antiques. Antics means amusing, silly or strange behaviour. I wonder what prompted this? I was just my normal self...

Hüntwangen Wil

This place is FAR out of Zürich (and try to pronounce it if you can!), at least half an hour with train. Just before the German border, so no need of passport but still. The reason I went was because of food and friends. Is there a better one?

The Rhein

Had to visit suburbia again. Ok, so admit it's kinda beautiful and all. This time I had to pass the Rhein, which is nice to look at, but it ain't Zürichsee...

Forgetful

When friends forget their belongings they have to visit again. Me likey. Perhaps I have to start hiding their things just to have them come back :)

Mind you, I have a better camera than the one showing to the left in this pic. But gotta admit mine cost a bit more than 7 CHF. Probably because I bought it in Zürich instead of Luzern?

Jack rocks

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilYNNIsFXQE

Summertime

Finally summer has arrived and I will so be on the boat tomorrow. Cruising the lake. People-watching. Trying to stay away from the ferries. Radio Zürichsee on loud volume, perhaps a glass of wine, maybe a book, working on my tan. And frankly, I could use some colour. White sheet-like is not sexy.

No 2

Had a great evening with two friends tonight with tablegrill and interesting discussions. Well hmmm interesting, but it's funny sometimes how conversations turn out. Discussed the matter of doing big toilet business and sharing the same. All three of us were of the opinion that there are things better not shared. Like shitting with an open door. A total no-no if you ask us. What is romantic with sharing a dump with a loved one? One of them once had a boyfriend who thought that if we cannot shit together you don't love me. What kinda crap is that? I think it's much more considerate NOT to share that type of experience. Besides, I like to sit down for a good one with a book. Contemplate, read and relax. I don't need to share that particular moment with anybody.

Watch out guys