A happy day for Switzerland

Today Switzerland voted to keep the damn foreigners out of the country. Good for them! I always thought there were too many of them here anyway.

This is a first step towards a totally Swiss Switzerland, free from foreign influences and all other stupid people out there in the world.

In fact, I think ze Swiss should go further. First of all, this doing business with other countries has to stop. Only Swiss companies, based in Switzerland, run by Swiss people and products and services sold to the Swiss should be allowed. The airport can close, since there is only one domestic route. Think about all the money saved just on that!

Then of course we have to send money back to the countries of origin. We cannot have any foreigners having bank accounts here in Switzerland. I mean, people who don't live here and will now never be allowed to. No, I think a Swiss-style fee covering the administrative expenses, then back with the money. Switzerland certainly doesn't need it.

Out with all that foreign food. Why should friggin foreigners be able to shove their food into the stomachs of the Swiss? Nah, there are cows, pigs and chicken here. We don't need no Asian take-outs, no American burgers, no Italian pizza-joints or cheap Swedish Ikea meatballs! Zürcher geschnetzeltes are the shit!

I really look forward to the next decade, and the impact this decision will have on good ol' Switzerland.

Plus I'm very much looking forward to my upcoming battle, trying to get a Swiss passport! Now I'm really desperate to stay here.