Lausanne

It's been quite a day. Been gone since 8 in the morning until now. For the first time I have crossed the "Rösti-graben" into the French-speaking part of Switzerland. Oui.

Stong!

Friend of mine got a business email today with at least 3 spelling mistakes in it. How professional is that? Not. One of the words words was stong, probably meant to say strong but it made our evening. Now everything is stong! I find that remark really stong! Your appearance looks stong today! Look at that guy, isn't he stong! I feel a bit stong! Yes, I think stong is gonna be all around for a while...

Remedy

So in order to overcome the frustration of getting your phone demolished, what better way is there than to blow into a horn?

Genius bar

Went to a bar tonight that didn't serve so much as a cocktail. so maybe branding isn't everything?

FYI a friend of mine had her iphone demolished by a Swiss man (he bumped into her, she dropped her phone, he didn't apologize, asshole).

But for the price of 269 francs they will replace the broken glass. Asshole again.

Toothpaste

There are moments when I miss a man. Mostly it is when the toothpaste is about to run out, and I always squeeze it in the middle and there is nobody there to get the last toothpaste out. Just wanted to share.

Narcissus and I

...or rather Narcissus and my neighbour. She is planning on having her portrait painted, at which time I made loadsa jokes about her narcissistic nature. When she finally got a word in I learned that this painter does it for free, since he wants to practice his painting skills. Now I'm just jealous, and hope that he'll do mine too. If it doesn't turn out nice, I will give the painting to my brother for Christmas. HAHAHAHAHA!

Razz

When passing through duty-free (which is another one of these advantages of living in Switzerland) last time I picked up a Bacardi Razz. Just because I liked the name. It's all about branding, isn't it?

Razz works well with fresh strawberries, just in case you didn't know.

Swahili 408

I have finally chosen the colour I want for repainting my fireplace. It is to be Swahili 408, a metallic silvery gray which sparks. Now all I gotta do is to paint it. Pics to follow when I've gotten around to it.

Irish meat

Am hosting a gourmet dinner in a few weeks and went to buy the meat today. Got talked into buying Irish beef by a very cute, and sadly very young, shop assistant. But he seemed to know what he was talking about, and that's good enough for me...hehe. So I bought 2 kg's of beef that I have to fry for 5 mins, then stick in the oven for 3-4 hours in 80°. This is a first for me, so I'm really, really hoping that it'll turn out allright.

Queer as folk

Did a re-run of the 3rd series of Queer as folk, and got so hooked again I had to go out and buy series 4 and 5, and now I've spent the last day not being able to stop watching. I love the interaction they have, the adventures, the sad and funny parts, not to mention the gourgeous guys. That Brian is still as tasty as ever. A pure pleasure to watch.

A miracle

After having my plants for 7 years, the first flower finally appeared! A beauty.

Spread your legs

On the list of my least favourite things to do comes the visit to the gyn doc. Men can stop reading here, but women will recognize I'm sure. First you strip on top and the doc (yes, I'm smart and have a woman doctor who knows what's it's all about) feels your breasts. No lumps. V good. Then you are required to take off your pants including your underpants, making you feel silly standing there in socks, with only the sweater on. Up you go on the chair, unfolding your legs for all to see. At least that's how it feels. You keep your knees together to try to keep some dignity. Ain't working. Then she sticks some metal thingie up your, well you-know-what. It hurts. She pokes around and hums. To top off the humiliation she pulls out what looks like a very small penis and puts some lubrication on top of a condom, then sticks it up your pussy. Not the same feeling as with a man I can assure you. Then she pokes around again, somewhat painful. But the good news was that I didn't have a cyst, nothing was wrong with me. Which makes you think, why did I go through this? After you are let down on the floor you can dress behind a curtain, which is kinda unnessacary because she's already seen it all, so you end up wiping yourself getting rid of all the lubricant and gooey in plain sight. Charming. NOT!

The food, oh the food

I like ham, but I loooove cheese. I was in heaven. And then came the desserts...

Orange gifts

These were my contributions to the kitchen, which is all in grey in different shades. My friend has chosen to have orange lights to put a bit of colour to it, and it looks much, much nicer than you think. So with a towel, cutting board, oven glove and candles also in orange it'll be fabulous.

I like her sink. It has two containers on the side, that can be removed should you not need them. And see how well the cutting board is matching the carrots...

Spring is here!

The tree is a magnolia I've learned. And the other ones are...flowers.

From awful to fabulous

It hurts to admit, but there are some people with...hmmm...just as good taste as I have :)

Renovation

Went to a housewarming party today. Not that it's a new house, but to celebrate that the kitchen and bathrooms were renovated. What a difference! And to the better I might add.

And now comes the riddle, which one is the before-picture?

Senile?

Got an sms this morning from a friend that I met in the North last week saying something about that the bed was approved of. So I responded saying "remind me. Which bed?". It's not exactly like we tried one out. Turned out the sms was sent to me by mistake. Phewww. Thought for a moment we had spoken about a bed, and that I'd completely forgotten. So not senile yet.

Gourmet dinner

I know these two couples. They have never met, but they are so alike, so I thought I'd introduce them to each other. They will be just like hand in glove, I know it. Both couples are good friends of mine and I have eaten many a good dinner with them. But not in my place. Now I have invited them and I have to perform. Feeling a bit of anxiety must admit. As a get-together starter (apero) I thought I would offer small crispy bread thingies with different toppings like salmon&dill, bacon cheese&cucumber, brie cheese&parsley (if I'm lucky I have my own) and small little homemade meatballs. I know one of them love'm. Together with two different Rieslings that I got for my housewarming. For main I'm thinking entrecote, pork filet, wienerschnitzel or beef. Haven't decided yet. Potatoes cut in squares, grilled in the oven. Some veggies like carrots and peas. Perhaps a salad to go with. A selection of good red wine. As dessert I will have to rely on Sprüngli. Chocolate cake and coffee. A nice dessert wine. Yes, I think that'll do.

Parsley?

For the first time in my life I have planted something. Parsley. But it is disturbing that it on the pack says that the 6 grams I bought are good for 1,500 plants parsley plants! And I only wanted one!

Took neighbours advice and planted two. Does this look like it can turn into something green?

Style your garage

http://www.style-your-garage.com/index.php... Perhaps I can use this for my basement?

New curtains

It took two people more than 1,5 hours to assemble these two curtains! Friggin Ikea, I tell you.

But look at the precision work...both even and equally long. Beautiful.

Thanks for the help neighbour.

Illiterate

70,000 being illiterate in Switzerland! While checking the world factbook I saw that Switzerland have people who cannot read and write. But 70,000 of them? Ok, so it could be a rounding error, but still, it means that at least 35,000+ people are not able to enjoy a book or write a letter. Who are these people? I haven't met anybody ever who do not have these skills. Mind you, coming to think of it, many people have a problem expressing themselves. Mainly men though...

Natel or Handy?

In the rest of the world it's called cell (America) or mobile phone (rest of world). In Switzerland it's called Natel or Handy. Why? Probably because ze Swiss like to create their own words in order to be special, and to distinguish themselves from ze Germans (FYI 82 mill Germans and 7 mill Swiss). Gotta give the Americans credit for their excellent CIA world factbook. Here in Switzerland they (we?) like to create our own identity and to stay independent (i.e. out of the evil EU...where we would just have to pay and get nothing back. On the other hand we looooove the business that EU gives!!). Anyway. What made me think of this was when neighbour was packing the baby for the walk today, and she shouted to her husband to get her "natel" and him knowing her for many years already had gotten it and walked behind her with her "handy". Funny, but perhaps you had to be there.

Booschänzli

Was chatting with a friend and we decided to get together soon for a drink. She told me that Bauschänzli is opening soon, so I surfed into their website. They have a video, which is possibly the worst advertising I have ever heard. Click on this and then on "Videofilm" on the upper left. It'll give you a good laugh. Doesn't matter if you don't understand the language, the voice says it all. And what is more surprising is that the company that made the promotional material, Astramedia, is willing to put their name to this! Avoid, avoid.

Everywhere animals

Seems like we have lots of different animals in the neighbourhood, but the worst part of todays walk with the baby was when I was waiting for the keeper outside Denner while she was shopping. Several people walked past, smiling at the baby while I was trying to pretend I didn't belong to it. She of course wasn't helping by being charming and smiling...

Hip shoe shopping

To get over the shock I had to go shopping (gosh, what am I turning into?). Actually I needed summer shoes and after again being shocked over the prices in the city (no way am I paying 99 francs for a pair of sandals!) I found two pairs in my local shop.

Apparently the new in-thing is to open and close them in the back. Nice to be hip for once.

Chainsaw massacre

I have a neighbour who thinks that all change is the work of satan. Today I am inclined to agree with him. Some 'marodeurs' have taken down the lovely pine tree that I could see from my bedroom. What is the meaning of all this? It better not be because they are planning to build a new house there!!!

Fabulous day

After a slow stroll up the hill (the other two were pushing the baby, hehe) we were met with a magnificent view of our beloved Zürich. Plus some animals. Which made me realize I was hungry. And what can be better than a cheese plate in the Waid restaurant?

17°

Gonna be fab weather tomorrow and in a weak moment I promised to take baby for a walk. Mind you, not me being responsible but I said I'd join for a walk in the park...

Take me to your heaven

This is how happy my friend was when I was bringing him a (let's be honest) rather mediocre schlager-song from the North.

Home!

When home I missed the greeting on the whiteboard. Probably because I was so happy to be home. Gives me such a warm fuzzy feeling to be welcome. To belong. This is my place. These are my people. Just wanted to share.

Oh shit

Had the questionable pleasure of sitting next to a couple with a kid on the flight back today. One of these white-trash couples who think everybody enjoys their "cute little kid", aka Omen. After smelling shit for about 20 mins, demonstrating it by pressing my fingers around my nose (subtle hint!) white-trash Mum finally got the message and went to do something about it. When I about an hour later went to the toilet I smelled it again, I had the horrible feeling that it was I who smelled (cannot shit when travel, so have 4 days of pile-up awaiting) before I realized I had gone to the toilet where the Mum had changed the diaper. Big relief! Sort of. Cannot wait for tomorrow morning. Will have my usual coffee and then I will run to the bathroom! Gosh, am I glad to be home!!

5* service

Unknown woman in foreign country

Don't like skating, don't like skiing, don't like snow, don't like ice. Think this woman is smiling because she's going home!

Yummie!

Because I'm worth it!

Home sweet home

Back again after a 4-day trip to the North. Bloody cold in more than one respect. Got tired of hearing about my unintelligence for being a smoker and how my opinions are not treated with respect. If I sometimes think that ze Swiss are intolerant it's only because I've forgotten it's worse elsewhere! However, the service in the place I was staying was more than excellent! So not totally a wasted trip, even though it'll for sure be some time before I venture out of Zürich again. Also had an unfortunate encounter with a bird. Again!! Placed my crayfish box outside on the stairs in the cold, meaning to pack them just before I went. In this brief moment of time a friggin bird decided to hack it open! What is it birds have against me? But all is well that ends well. After wrapping and packing it carefully I made it home without any spill. Will enjoy this evening.

Back soon

Not to worry, on my way back home. Keep your fingers crossed that my favourite food will not create a disaster in my suitcase!