I call it a diaperhead

or "Why we believe Americans are stupid": http://youtube.com/watch?v=C6r1IcY1pv0&feature=related

The quilt has arrived

The much longed-after quilt has finally arrived and it's fabulous. Only the bill that came along with it was a bit of a shock. But hey! It's only money. And the quilt will survive me I'm sure. Especially since I'm told I can do the dirty on it, wash it, and it'll be as good as new. I tell ya, you have to choose your suppliers carefully...

Spring feelings

Eventually Zürich has become a bit warmer. People are starting to sit outdoors, having drinks and just move about. It's great. After spending most of the day with another American I needed this. So took my lawyer friend out for a few drinks and a "sausage diavolo". Nice. He's expecting a baby soon (well, not him personally but you know what I mean) so brought a teeny-tiny yellow top and pants. It's gonna be a girl and we don't wanna do pink/blue theme these days. Gotta stay with the "I'm a female and I'm cool-type of approach". Yellow is one way to go. Anyway, that was nice and I'm already home. I'm starting to be a good girl...

Buzz

Went to see the electricity man today. There is a plan showing where the plugs are, but it was good to talk to somebody who can actually understand that plan. So now I've got spotlights with dimmers in my bathroom, in the hallway leading straight into the bar in the kitchen. Where it also will be spotlights. Square ones of course to go with the theme of square everywhere else. Lighting is important. And since I look better in a bit of a dim light, dimmers are too.

What's not to love?

CG in Booschänzli mood

The only thing to do after a really long boat cruise is to go to Bauschänzli. Where they most importantly have a toilet, and then wine on tap. This is what CG thought of this new experience...

A great day in Zürich

Zürich am see is fabulous. There is no city in the world like Zürich if you ask me. Not that I've seen all cities, but I don't care, Zürich rocks.

This is a pic of the new ferry they built and only upon delivery realized it created too big waves for the lake, and had to rebuild it for 70 M francs. I certainly hope at least one architect got fired. But here it is...

Sodom and Gomorrah

All the time I'm discovering new sides to CG. Yesterday he helped me to draw my furniture into the new flat plan (for some reason the architect wanted this). Was mildly surprised to see that he drew a man in the guest bed surrounded by handcuffs and whips. Who is my flatmate really? This can get real ugly...

Who likes shopping?

Not me, that's for sure. Yet CG and I spent most of the day doing it. Flowers for the balcony, drinks, food and even some clothes (well, in my case a pair of shoes). Exhausting! Then washing, ironing, cooking. I tell ya. I feel like a friggin housewife!

Inauguration

Took an American out last night. He's new in the city and knows nothing yet. And who better to show him Zürich by night than I? Mind you, being an American he doesn't know much anyway. We started out with a few glasses of Sangria at a tapas bar. You know, some cheese, "diavolo" sausage that is put on fire, olives, bread and some meat. Delish. Then I took him to one of my favourite places where I held my birthday dinner 1,5 years ago. And accidentally I ran into the manager there who organized my party. And of course the waiter still knew me. Didn't even have to order. He just brought the wine he knows I like. Good man. And guess where we ended up? Yes of course, my fav place. Was a nice evening, and I wasn't home until 2.30. I guess the American felt quite bad this morning :)

Search engine

This is what you guys search for when finding my blog: 1. zurilife (thank you, means you go directly to my blog!) 2. americans in zurich (haha, they will be sorely disappointed) 3. apfelkammer zürich (yeah, place to recommend) 4. zurich sex (wonder just how disappointed these people will be?) 5. böögg 2008 (yes he burned this year too) 6. gay orchids (why search for this?) 7. mr schweiz (ok, he's goodlooking but doesn't seem to be all that) 8. sex toys zurich (haha, wrong blog!) 9. hopp-schwiiz (why?) 10. mr schweiz 2008 (I don't even have a pic of this guy) Google analytics is interesting.

Male restroom etiquette

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw ...but it still doesn't explain why men spit in the urinal before peeing...

On the bench

At the Hauptbahnhof (main station) there is a bunch of people "in-between-jobs". In warmer weather they seem to have a good time, enjoying the odd crate of beer or the occasional shoot-up, having vivid discussions and just popping down the bridge to pee in the river when needed. Anyway, was thinking about that because yesterday I donated blood again. And had an amateur doing it. Fucking hell! That hurt I tell you. She pushed the horribly thick needle into my vein, or at least she was supposed to. She missed. And then again. I was in agony! Eventually she gave up but the blood wouldn't trickle through at the normal pace so she called a colleague, who came over to twist the needle. Ah the joy of being a volunteer! And the reason I connect the two is that my arm looks like I'm a heroin addict. It's like a big hole in my arm. And I can still feel the needle. Don't be surprised if you see me on the bench soon...

Baby trend

It seems that many of my friends / acquaintances are sprouting babies this spring. They must've been really horny in the autumn, forgetting everything about protection. Condoms are a gift to mankind (or more importantly womankind) and meant to be used!

Selling sand to Arabs

...with my smile. That's the compliment I got today! Hurray! Ain't often. And this unprompted. It makes me smile even more. Haha, I'm gonna live on this for at least the rest of the week.

Dirty Germans

Once many moons ago I learned Dutch via a tv program I think was called "Vijf op ein rij" - five in a row. A quiz show, which got me hooked. Not only did I learn the language (which I've unfortunately have forgotten most of) but I also learned things. Tonight zapping the telly I ran into a German quiz program, learning that 23% of the Germans do not wash their hands after having been to the toilet. Yikes! Think I have to keep a closer eye on CG!

Matchmaking

I am a real matchmaker. My most successful couple is now awaiting a baby after having been together 7 years. This is not a profitable business though, all I've been offered after all this time is to babysit. Haha. Soooo not funny. But I'm kinda happy for them. Told them to plan to come to Zürich next autumn for my housewarming. Without the baby obviously. Also told them I'll come visit them in 14 years time. That's when the kids start to stay away from the parents, and hide in their room with a computer game or something. Suits me fine. PS. This is the woman who's 8 months pregnant and have gained 4 kg's. Life is just not fair!

A dedication from Tina

Got the loveliest present the other day. A cd that my friendgirl "Tina" recorded with a personal dedication. Playing it right now. Makes me happy!

My German

...is equally crap as the weather. I keep on hearing that my German is fine, and I don't believe any one of them. I am certain they just say that to be nice to me. Because I know it isn't. I have trouble with the friggin verbs, the grammatics, yeah the language as a whole to be honest. One thing that bugs me most is phone calls. There is an extended goodbye ritual in German. And I usually end up just hanging up. There is Auf Wiederhören, Auf Wiedersehen (who cares if we gonna see other or just talk?), ciao (which apparently is informal in German, but being an Italian word I'm not sure), bis bald (until soon), Sie hören van uns (you will hear from us...always being this friggin formal), ich habe mir (mich?) gefreut (I took great pleasure...in speaking to you I guess). It makes me squirm all these goodbye phrases. I just wanna slam the phone down and be done with it. And not knowing whether I'm insulting people by being informal, or if I by chance happen to use the right words makes me not wanting to speak German at all!

A bite to eat?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nr2__jr60j4 I am so happy we have no sharks in Zürichsee :)

Dumped

Ever happened to you? Well, I'm beating you big time. Tonight I was dumped by no less than three men! All sorts of reasons whereof one was valid, the other two had to do with some boring business I think. Like "so-and-so higher-ups have asked me to do this immediately" or "I have to attend a business dinner". I tell ya. Where are the priorities of these people?

Starting to feel like it could be me...

It's raining

...unfortunately not men. But it's been raining the whole day without any stop. Where does all the water come from? So had to go check on the boat again, it has a tendency to collect rain in the front when too much water is pushing on. Not that it'll help for long, it's still pouring. Tomorrow is carton day, and some clever people have already left their empty boxes on the street. What do you think happens when water meets carton? Tomorrow morning it'll be a soggy bunch that can no longer be picked up. Morons!

CG leaves me alone

It's amazing how quickly you get used to having somebody around. This evening CG has left me alone until tomorrow. It feels weird. I'm already so used to having him here. Ah well, he'll be back tomorrow. That'll be nice.

Credit

Had a very nice phone call today from the previous owner of the boat. He had received a credit note for 46 CHF, and wanted to know why. Think it's because I have now registered the boat in my name and have gotten a bill twice for tax 2008. Anyway, told him to keep it. "Oh no", he said. "We're gonna share a bottle of fine wine together for that money". Isn't that sweet? I haven't seen him in years, so really look forward to meet up again.

Bad influence

That's what CG and I have on each other. So we decided to start a new life tomorrow. Haha. Especially after the discussion about him going shopping for wine, and I for cigarettes. Oh dear. Where will this end?

CG and my boat

I am so eternally grateful to CG who helped me to clean out the boat today. More than two hours of intensive labour to get all the birdshit out, and scrub it. It looks as good as new. So good we even took a little trip on the lake. My boat. I love it! And I have very warm feelings for CG who helped me out.

Not even a mouthful

Was out briefly this evening and ran into a friend of mine. She told that she accidently blew a guy the other day. And who am I to question an "accidental blow-job"? But apparently he wasn't even a mouthful...

CG and his attitude to time

If I want to be generous I could say that CG has a somewhat optimistic view on time. Very optimistic in fact. Eight o'clock very quickly becomes eleven o'clock. 10 minutes turns into 5 hours in a flash. Which is a bit funny for somebody who is compulsory on time. All the time. Every time. Like me. But I'm trying to be understanding. It's all about give-and-take in a "wohngemeinschaft". And I'm sure I have flaws too, I just don't know what they would be :)

What happened?

Judging by the look on CG's face today, once he surfaced in the late afternoon, I can picture what happened. Heavy bar-hopping all over town, lots of cig and alco, the usual a Friday night really. But where I caved in around 3 this morning, CG only dragged his ass home at 7, thinking that another glass of wine was what he really needed (!), laughing out loud seeing my note on the bottle and continued to party. But then, what do I know? I was asleep.

Vogelscheisse

Haha, I am so funny when I'm a bit drunk. Or so I think. Sms'd with CG tonight, and he's staying out longer than I am. Told him I'd leave the wine bottle open for him. But since he promised to help me clean out the boat I just put a post-it note on the bottle in the fridge saying "Vogelscheisse". Right now it feels funny...not sure it'll be the same in the morning :)

Ischgl

Love this place. Not that I ever set foot there, but the pronounciation means you have to be really drunk to even attempt. Ischgl. The drunker, the better.

Swiss ass

Was in my usual place tonight and came across this asshole. First he shoved his jacket in my face without apologizing, then he was standing 30 cm from my face shaking his not-so-good-looking ass. So thought my revenge would be to publish it here on the blog...

Made me think of youngsters. These days it seems to be in to not show your ass, but to have jeans/pants hanging down so that you see nothing. What's the point of that?

My research tells me that this particular kind of fashion originated in prison where the inmates were not allowed to have a belt to keep their pants in place. But that was about 5 years ago. I tell ya. Ze Swiss are a bit slow...

Things I'd rather do

...than cleaning out birdshit in the boat. Hmmm, nothing actually. Not that I'm a fan of birds, anybody who reads this blog knows about that (shoot'm is my motto) but the fact that I soon can start using the boat after having cleaned it out is reason enough to do it. Will it happen? We'll see tomorrow...

Poets day

Perhaps I'm terribly behind but I've never heard this expression before. Means Piss Off Early Tomorrow's Saturday. Brilliant! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poets

10 things that don't interest me

1. Computer games. 2. Formula 1. 3. Or watching any so called sport whatsoever. 4. Shopping for clothes. 5. Boring people. 6. Teetotallers. 7. Lying bastards. 8. Dishonesty. 9. Kids. 10. Anything else that doesn't fit into my definition of fun :)

CG and his games

So we're sitting here in the living room CG and I. I in front of my computer, and CG in front of his more fancy Apple (am actually thinking seriously of getting a Macintosh next time...should I worry that it's not compatible to everything?). I hear some strange noises interfering with the music playing in the background (great music, and it just so happens I know the singer!...Hi J, you're great and looking forward to see you in Zürich soon). Turns out CG is playing something called "Command & conquer". I guess he really is a man after all.

You get what you pay for

When I decided to buy the apartment there were budgets included for the kitchen, the bathrooms etc. The real estate agent told me that the money set aside was generous. HAHAHA! I really should have known better. Got the proposal back from the bathroom person today. 18 pages of itemized suggestions. Spent half an hour with CG (how very practical to have a German-speaking inhouse resource!) to translate everything from "Spültisch-Garnitur" to "Rückschlagventil". Whatever happened to just have like "Wash-basin guest bathroom" and an amount next to it. I don't really need to know exactly what the pipe costs. Well, ze Swiss like their details and who am I to complain? I chose to live here, and I'm gonna end up having a fab kitchen and at least one fantastic bathroom!

CG and his landlady

Domestic bliss. A long time ago since i had that. No tension in the household, just being nice to each other. However, I'm a woman and there must always be some sort of trouble in paradise. And this is the bad influence we have on each other. Nobody can party every night, not even I (hard to admit, but true). This is our daily conversation: Him: "You want a glass of wine?" Me: "No."..."Yeah ok then, go on." Or... Me: "You want a glass of wine?" Him: "Yes". Like last night after having been good enough to go home before midnight, only to end up drinking wine and solving the worlds problems until 2.30.

CG and his habits

One of the more interesting habits that CG has includes brushing his teeth in the shower. With an electric toothbrush! Water meets electricity - hello!?! On the other hand that might explain a few things...;)

American in town

Spent today with an American. He's been in Switzerland for 2 weeks, and is still finding out about ze Swissie things like Zürisäcke, the trash bags you buy. He had gone to several stores and not found any. Told him they are sold over the counter, you have to ask specifically. Then we went through what you do with paper trash that is collected a couple of times a month on the street (put in neat piles with string around, any string will do), carton you collect in an empty carton box and place on the street. Milk bottles go back to Migros or Coop together with PET bottles (had to explain PET too), glass bottles and metal cans you have to take to the glass collection places scattered around the city. It ain't easy to "go native" in Switzerland.

My new favourite author

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article2042068.ece I so couldn't have said it better myself!

CG without his woman

CG called to say he's gonna be late this evening. No shit I was thinking. And then when I told him I'd be gone, and he could join later he asked for directions to the bus. This is a man with a car. And an electronic woman to tell him where to go. It's not rocket science exactly to go to the bus stop from my place. 3 min walk if you walk slowly. 2 stops to the main station. Shall we bet if he makes it?

Unique

Did a test on google again, zurilife as a search word still comes up on top. I am unique! Me, me, me!

Schiffsausweis

A boat certificate. Remember I got one in my name after having an agent fix it? Well, yesterday I got the bill. Together with the one I pay yearly for taxes. 50 CHF for having a boat in my name. Guess it's worth it, but still. Every paper ze Swiss have to issue they charge you for. But fair enough. As long as the taxes are as low as they are, who am I to complain? After all, the day before yesterday the news informed me that until that day the average Swiss person had paid her/his taxes. The rest of the year is money into our pockets. Gimme, gimme, gimme...

Good girl

Yesterday I was being a good girl. Have to say it again to believe it myself, but I guess was is the operative word here. After the apero today, I feel like going out. I know Tuesdays are my going-out-evenings, but since people keep on rearranging their calendars I did too. So tonight is Tuesday, aka Wednesday. But promised to wait for CG, which can take a while considering his timing schedule...

Apero

Attended an apero today. This is a word that I guess comes from French, meaning before. In Switzerland it's used for a drink get-together. Before something else would be the meaning. It usually comes with small pieces of food like one-bite-sandwiches, nuts, veggies and dip, that type of thing. And free booze. Prosecco, red and white wine, water and juice (why the latter two would be anybodys guess). Brilliant! To date I have only missed these invitations when I was travelling. Like the Brits would phrase it: "there is nothing like a free meal". Mind you, the Scandinavians would say "there is nothing like free booze".

Toilet details

Not since I lived in the Netherlands have I had thoughts about toilets. Until yesterday when I was shopping two of them. Latest fashion is to have the water dispenser built into the wall, with two buttons to push for small and big business. Still they haven’t learned that the small button is too small for women who tend to use more toilet paper, and the big is not economical. Something in between? Anyway, chose two standard ones, since it’s possible to change the seats on those. Designed toilets are not necessarily more comfortable, just more expensive and inflexible. The reason for thinking about toilets in Holland was that most of them hold a shelf, so that when you do a biggie you can turn around and inspect whatever you left behind. Why would be the question here.

Bathroom business II

Wash basin for guest bathroom and a cabinet with lighting.

Bathroom business I

Do we likey? Obviously without the horrible pattern, just pure shiny white.

Just FYI this is the latest fashion in wash basins. Learned that corners are in, and softer lines are totally out.

This is again a whole science, just as difficult as shopping kitchens.

Today I ordered this one and a smaller standard one for the guest bathroom. Only the best for me, the guests will have to do with less luxury :).

Then there were the taps, where I will have the same ones in both bathrooms. And you should've seen the shower! Totally absolutely cool. It's like a panel with a top shower, a shoulder shower, massage thingies and a lose shower that you can use anywhere. Everything closes into a panel on the wall, so you won't even know what it is. But on the other hand, what else would it be than a shower in a shower room?

The toilets will have lids that close themselves, you only have to give it a little push. Nice feature for men.

Next will be to meet with the electricity guy and the tile people. This is just too exciting!

Zombie

Had I not known better what CG did last Saturday I would've thought this was it.

Zombie parade. Zürich is an happening place, not always in the good way...

Der Böögg

Der Böögg has to burn without me this year, I'm following the event on SF1. It's raining and I couldn't be bothered to be honest. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfQr0VYY7UE The faster it burns, the better the summer. It doesn't look good so far.

Drastic measures

Turns out CG has a bit of a problem getting out of bed in the mornings. I have tried to knock on his door, waiting for his answer. I have even opened the door, to make sure he's actually up. But then, when I leave him unguarded he just goes back to sleep. This is not acceptable. Any ideas of which measures I need to take? Pour really cold water over him? But then again, it's my bed and we don't want a mess. Buy an alarm clock that is impossible to shut off? Keep on ringing the phone until he answers? I need ideas!

A sign of old age

A friend told me today that it's a sign of old age to think that the kitchen is the most important room in the house. Haha. Then I am happily admitting to being old(er). Mind you, not old. Every time I think of my new kitchen I am so happy.

Dobermann

Friend of mine insists her dog is adorable, but look at the size of that mouth!

The blind leading the blind

This evening I had the pleasure of watching a marketing man and a gay guy trying to connect to internet. You would think it's an impossible task, but heureka! they succeeded. Eventually. So now I'm blogging from CG's wireless. And so far so good, it seems to work.

Sächselüti

CG and I went to check on the boat today. Had completely forgotten that it's Sächseläuten tomorrow and in good tradition ze Swiss decided to start already today with some sort of parade. The city was packed and the trams didn't go along Limmatquai or Bahnhofstrasse. We managed to get there though, and no shitting birds this time. Next weekend it might be time to clean it out, and start using it for the season. Cannot wait! http://www.swisskalender.ch/eventinfo.cfm?key=185849&kat=5

In the closet

M and CG in my second living room. Together. It's hard to believe. Especially since it's without me. Perhaps this requires a bit of an explanation. CG and M (former flatmate) met at my place for dinner last Tuesday. They then decided to go to a concert together today. Some unknown woman was singing, and frankly I knew I was gonna be too excited about kitchens (!) to concentrate on a concert. Anyway. They seem to have bonded, and according to the latest phone call just now they are on their way to MY place. The place that M has previously stated his dislike for. I will so choose not to take it personally :). But in my heart I always knew M was a closet fan. And yes, they did want me to join but with me in pyjama and with newly painted toenails, I chose not to. Mind you, they might show up later demanding drinks.

Aprire

For some unknown reason my dvd-player (the second latest I have that works again mysteriously, even without the English-German dictionary supporting it on the one side) has decided to cross Röstigraben (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R%C3%B6stigraben). It now shows the menu in French (CG, are you responsible for this?). But hey. Who cares if it says "aprire" or "öffnen". I can kinda understand what it means when the cd/dvd thingie opens. Just blonde you know, not (necessarily) stupid :)

A gentleman in disguise?

Did I mention CG is very nice? Yes, I know, but only three or eight times. Today he opened the car door to let me in, he lit my ciggie several times and similar things like letting me leave through the door first. That type of things. I don't know whether to feel flattered or like I'm an old woman who needs special consideration. Perhaps he's just raised by decent parents, and I'm not used to feeling taken care of. Maybe the explanation is that easy. My choice is to interprete it that way. And I can certainly get used to it ;)

Bounce rate

Have registered with something called Google Analytics a few days ago. This application will tell me who my visitors are. All two of them :). When checking the report today I got information about number of visitors (duuuh, I knew that already), pageviews, average time on site, new visits etc. Also got told about the bounce rate. Had absolutely no idea what that was, so wikipedia'd it. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bounce_Rate Mine is 87% and this is what wikipedia says: "It is really hard to get a bounce rate under 20%, anything over 35% is cause for concern, 50% (above) is worrying." It's indeed a good thing I don't do this for money :)

Me and my toyboy

Not as you might think, but when we arrived today in the kitchen store in Germany the salesman approached by saying "Is this the family...and then my surname?". I didn't get it at the time. CG told me later. Salesman might have been a bit surprised when I took all the decisions. Or maybe not...

CG and his balls

CG told me today about the time when he was sitting at the side of a swimming pool with his feet in the water talking to a swimming woman. About 20 minutes later she was leaving with the words "oh, by the way, one of your balls is hanging out of your swimwear". Haha. I am finding out more and more about him. Like I told him, everybody has secrets. But not all of them are willing to have them exposed on my blog. Didn't I tell you he is nice?

Disco kitchen IV

Then came all the difficult side discussions. Like what handles do I want. Like I knew! Well, in the end I opted for no handles at all. One of the reasons being the bar counter I chose to have on top of the working space on the kitchen half-island (one end is connected to the wall). Handles would be in the way, so there is going to be a little space between drawers so that you can get your hand in and just drag the drawer out. With matching stainless steel edges. Just like the American style fridge/freezer I have chosen. With an automatic ice-maker. How cool is that? Stainless steel of course. The rest of the kitchen will be shiny white. Had to be. Black-white combination is a killer with the contrast. Sink will be modern, quite deep and square with a tap you can loosen and use as a mini-shower to clean. It'll be a thingy to provide dishwasher liquid. And with a half-sink on the side. Obviously the stove will be 1,20 m and with ceramic (?) flat top. Top class. Only the best for me! Can you tell I'm excited?

Top fan

Ok, gotta admit I had a fan chosen in a catalogue which was more in a designed style and with glass. That one got totally trashed by the adviser, who told me that it needs a bit of sturdiness and size in order to actually do its job. Ok fine, I have no problem admitting when I'm wrong (ok, little problem but wise enough to know when to "adjust" my opinion :).

So this style is what it's gonna be. Including a function of "sucking-out-the-rest-of-the-smoke" with a 15 minute timer.

Disco kitchen III

Click on pic to enlarge in order to get a feeling for the disco! I am so happy with my choice, even though I know it's not to everybodys liking. Or perhaps because of that :). I cannot stop smiling!

Disco kitchen II

Is this cool or is this cool? I first saw a granite kitchen which I kinda liked, but when I saw this I fell in love. I felt happy. CG thought that maybe it would get old after a while, but I simply couldn't resist. A bit of 80's disco lamps, a bit of black, and a fair bit of a modern feeling.

Of course it won't look the same in my kitchen since it's a different layout but you get the feeling. And the bar counter is a must. I will have a working space that is 4,25 m long with a bar stretching over 3 m. I am so excited I don't know how I can wait over a year to have this!

Disco kitchen I

Wow! This is my feeling after a 3-hour meeting with a kitchen adviser. I had no idea I knew so little about kitchens. After all, I spent a fair amount of time there. Why go to Germany you ask to look at kitchens, well that was the place the architect recommended. And it was really cool. A huge place with gazillions of kitchens, bathrooms and all sorts of stuff. I had to decide the working space, the cupboards, the handles, the sink, the stove, the storage space, the trash place, the fan, the size and length and the rest I cannot remember. My mind is swirling. But gotta admit. I haven't had this much fun since I can remember (since they hanged Saddam?). Really greatful to CG that he joined. Very helpful and nice with a second opinion. Albeit we didn't have the exact same taste (and I won, because it's my kitchen :), but extremely good to have somebody to discuss choices with. These days everything can be customized, which means my new kitchen will be unique. Me so likey!

Breakfast

Breakfast in Germany consisted of waffles with sweets. Not the healthiest but all they served in the cafe we found.

And how does it go with my diet you ask? Hmmm...

Deutschland

So we were in Germany today, just as a daytrip. It was a nice drive a little over an hour to get there, and with the electronic woman accompanying us. However, today she was a little grumpy and not always correct in her directions. I think the words "stupid woman" and "she probably has PMS" was uttered more than once.

As an example the street where I live starts at number 220 according to her. Trust me, it doesn't. I live on the bit that she doesn't believe exists.

The men in uniform at the border just waved us through. Big, huge disappointment. I wouldn't mind being felt up by one of them!

The land of pee and home of the unshaved

CG and I were in Germany today (more on that later), and driving back over the border back into Switzerland he uttered these surprising words. Ever since the act of racism with ze Swiss slashing his car tyres he's been feeling a little unwelcome I think. CG's version of the Star-spangled banners the land of the free and home of the brave. Funny. PS. Especially funny from a man who enjoys peeing in public swimming pools...

Male flaws

Haha. Am finding out more about CG every day. And he really is a very nice guy, but there is no denying he's still a man. It must be genetics. Otherwise, why is it that only a man doesn't know how to close cupboard doors? Every time I come into the kitchen I start with closing all the doors that he opened. Ok, so it's a good way of keeping track what he eats and does in the kitchen :), but why is that? My ex was exactly the same. My ex was also ignorant when I placed the trashbag in front of the door, so that he would have to move it to get out. He did and didn't even realize that he did it, it was natural for him. Same with CG. I placed a washbucket in the hallway so that he wouldn't miss it. But of course he just stepped over it without realizing there was a task to be done. I tell ya. Men! Can't live with them, can't shoot'm.

The things you can do with a tie

This includes swinging it around your head, standing on a chair, singing along to the band. But what I didn't expect was that he'd rub the tie between his legs. Mind you, he did it to the rhythm of the music. But gotta admit, it wasn't pretty. Seriously thinking I have to find another place...

Slim

I am green with jealousy! http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/04/10/nfat110.xml

Panini

Contrary to what you might believe I'm not talking about Italian bread, but some stickers with pics of football players in the upcoming World Championshit. This has become a competition amongst grown-up (!!) men to collect, and is advertised all over the place. I did that too once. When I was 8.

Bad sperm

According to 20 minutes yesterday young Swiss men have bad sperm, and particularly bad in Zürich. Why? No idea. Why it would be worse in a clean city like Zürich where people have one of the highest standards of living in the world is hard to guess. And this was in comparison to other countries. Well, for me it is good enough. Was just struggling to get on a bus with 3 (!) strollers, kids screaming and mothers who didn't give a flying fuck about the rest of us poor passengers. Bad sperm is a good thing!

CERN

Very interesting: http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2005/feb/03/sciencenews.science. My friend had been there for an open-day for the public. They expected 10,000 visitors. 75,000 came. Crowded to say the least. http://public.web.cern.ch/Public/Welcome.html I guess it's like a big science fair, but for real. Quite intriguing.

With a little help from your friends

or not...

Warm wine

This is what happens when you have a new flatmate (CG) who enjoys the odd glass of wine. Unfortunately he hasn't learned that when you empty a bottle you have to make sure there is at least another one in the fridge. Meaning today when we needed a refill there was only lukewarm wine. Yikes. So, ever the perfect hostess I asked my guests if they wanted some ice in the glass. Yes they did. Went to the kitchen to get some ice, which I distributed into the glasses. Friend visiting: "I hope you washed your hands". Me: "No, I actually scratched myself between my legs before I got the ice from the freezer". As you can imagine the conversation went all downhill after that...

Ice bucket

Ok, so they didn't serve the greatest wine, but at least they provided me with an ice bucket worthy a queen. See that Aussie girl?

Pickwick pub in Zug

http://www.triplebypass.ch/

They may have had the odd heart operation but trust me, these guys know what to do with an instrument...

The endless salad

Was in Zug tonight. Great band playing. The fact that I happen to know them makes me a bit subjective but trust me. They rock. And they have a salad for 16 CHF that is impossible to finish. We were two people and we didn't succeed.

Polizei

Gosh, they were cute! Both policemen. I definitely need to get me a man in uniform.

And they told us that the car was number twelwe having its tyres cut in the area. All with number plates from the same country. Definitely an act of racism.

Although I feel really sorry for CG, it certainly was the highlight of my day!

Racism and men in uniform

Having a bit of a drama here this Sunday. Turns out somebody has slashed all four of CG's tyres. Since his car was the only one on that street that got demolished, I figure it's an act of racism since he has foreign number plates. These villains should get hung by the balls over an open fire. And now the police is on their way. Must hurry to get dressed up!

Brunchtime

Had a really nice brunch today with two friends, one man, one woman. However, the conversation left a little to be desired at times. When I asked them why they are not together (roughly same age, both single etc) the conversation went like this: She: "Well, he's too nice for me. I need a nice asshole". Him: "But I have a nice asshole". Apart from that, it was a nice afternoon. We also checked out my to-be-apartment. The trees are gone now. It has started!

Music lover

Turns out flatmate loves music.

And trust me, it looks better than it sounds...

Mr Schweiz

My guess would be that all of Switzerlands gay men are now sitting in front of the telly. And so do I. I wonder if that says more about me than them :) In my defense I'm doing it because it just so happened. But I can't deny it could be worse. Much, much worse in fact. Ah, better have another glass of wine and get ready to hit town. Yesterday I faded unfortunately and was in bed before midnight. Shame on me! PS. CG is home too, and I'm finding out more and more. This is good for my blog, lots of ideas...

Threesome

So, I'm slowly getting to know flatmate. When he said yesterday that he would be late home I didn't realize that meant the afternoon. The day after. Turned out he had spent the night with two girls. Unknown until last night apparently. Yet he's claiming nothing happened. Yeah, right! So either I have a liar on my hands, or somebody with no initiative. I don't know what is worse...

Present

Got a present today when shopping, a sweet little plant. It was Migros who said thank you for being a faithful customer. Nice.

The lights I bought on impulse. Gosh, I really am getting Swissified!

Certificate

Unfortunately I never got around to take the test for getting a boat license. Not enough lessons, not enough time. But when I changed from one insurance company to another they asked me why the boat certificate held the name of the previous owner. Eh? Because I ignored it, and thought it wouldn't matter would be the answer. So they helped me. This is unheard of in Switzerland. I sent the old certificate in, filled in a form and voila. Today it arrived. A boat certificate in my name. Wow. And I now understand the insurance agents uncertainty because when I asked him if it was the blue thingy he needed he didn't know. Turns out the license I got is brown. Tell me somebody what the reason would be to change colour? As soon as you get used to something it has to change. Probably because change is supposedly good. But is change always good? Only if it is for the better if you ask me. And blue is certainly better than brown...

Proximity

Just like size matters proximity does. My cousin who normally calls me once a year on my birthday called today. And no, it's not my birthday. This because he just landed in Geneva, off to ski in Chamonix over the weekend. Nice. But you know, telephones work all over the world... And why did he think that all Swiss people were short? Are they shorter in the French-speaking part of Switzerland? My cousin is not fantastically tall himself, so why? Truth be told, I haven't actually been to Geneva. But on the other hand, I only lived here for 5+ years. Plenty of time yet. Only, somebody give me a reason to visit Geneva? What is nice there? Why should I spend some of my valuable time going all the way over there?

CG

Hehe, new flatmate is going a bit bananas over his nickname CG. He doesn't know what it means. Told him I would need a few glasses of wine in order to reveal it. He offered me one glass. He offered me another glass. But no, I'm not that cheap. And this is a great blackmail item to use. I'm gonna make the most of it. And most funny of all he wikipediad it. It showed everything from Garbage Collection to Gran Canaria and even Gambia International Airlines. Not sure how they got that last one to fit GC, but there you go. Mind you, had he wikipediad CG, he would have gotten another list of possible answers. It's an enigma.

CG and his vibrator

I am getting to know new flatmate. About one hour every evening. I leave in the morning, he sleeps. I come home in the evening, he's away. The routine we have established includes him coming home around 11pm and we have a talk before going to bed. This has now happened three nights in a row, so it's safe to say it's become a habit. Then I go to bed with my book, and he goes to get ready for bed. This includes a vibrating sound from the bathroom. At first this was a bit puzzling until I realized he has an electronic toothbrush. Phew, what a relief! But why does the vibrating sound go on for 5 minutes? How dirty can his teeth be? There are surely things still to be discovered about this new man in my household...

Mentor

An acquaintance of mine is planning a housewarming party, and of course he turns to the pro for advice. I made a list for him what to buy and promised to help organize. We have been waiting a long time for this party. First I told him to have the party before the renovation (it's obvious why, isn't it?), but this piece of useful insight he ignored. Therefore his flat is now newly painted and with new carpets (what possessed him to put carpets in?...he should've asked me about this too!). Anyway. Today he asked me whether it would be rude to ask people to bring their own slippers to his party due to the new carpets. Hahahahaha. Yes, it would indeed be a strange thing to ask I told him. However, as a compromize I could agree to take off my shoes since I usually do that at home anyway. Whether the others would agree I'm not so sure about. What a weird thing to ask!

Reversing age

I have discovered that I am reversing in age. This is very convenient since I'll be hmmm... 29 again next birthday. How else can one explain a large pimple on the cheek?

And I discovered an interesting fact about my ancestors that one of my older relatives told me. Out of 9 children 8 died of heart problems, whereas the 1 left didn't. He was the alcoholic in the family. Very encouraging. I always believed alcohol was preserving. Why else would they keep organs in ethanol?

Fiji II

Although I could live without these animals...

Fiji I

Not that I've been there, but Aussie girl has. These pics are honestly stolen from where she posted them.

The swing looks great, and like the R&R I am currently in dire need of...

Stats

Was just looking at the number of items I have blogged this year. This is definitely a downspiralling curve. No good. And no good excuse, other than that I appear to have a life! But I will have to start sharing better. So that all my 10 readers won't be disappointed :) Hang in there folks!

Pulling a sex and the city

Was out for a short time this evening. Had dinner first with a friend where we cought up on things, was a while since we saw each other. We covered subjects like "we likey my new sweater (the orange one)?". Him going "yes maybe". And some other stuff too in case you wonder. We're not that shallow. Haha. Then I had a drink in a my usual place where one of the women pulled a Sex and the city. In the real series Samantha pours a drink over Richards head, the sushi-eating bastard. In my world the woman knocked over her glass, accidentally pouring a glass of wine over a guys crotch. Ah well, you can't have it all.

Plague or cholera

I cannot decide which one is worst, screaming children or smelly people. Always thought it was those children who showed they had lung capacity, and parents who didn't care. On a flight that is. Otherwise I don't care. Can always put telly on mute. But yesterday on the flight to Barcelona I was placed in a aisle seat, with two goodlooking guys next to me. You would think that would be like hitting the jackpot, but alas no. The windowseat smelled like he had slept on the street for the last two weeks. And being Spanish he was having a vivid body language, and every time he moved his hands the smell hit me like a train (one of those see the end of tunnel being a good thing, but unfortunately it was a train coming at ya). Middle seat guy was bad but not that. I tell ya. I was leaning towards the aisle the whole flight, it was horrible. The things I put up with. Next time I will tell them. But how? How do you tell a stranger that he smells like something coming up of my shower drain? I thought I was a bitch, but obviously not enough of one. Have to work on it.

My reputation

Think my reputation went up a notch today. Was bored in a meeting and decided to pester an acquaintance with some whispering conversation. Me: "did you hear I got a new flatmate?" Him: "no. Woman or man?" Me: "man of course. He moved in yesterday". Him: (thinking. He knew I was in Barcelona yesterday, so he looked like he was thinking 'so she went out after she got home late, picked up a guy, any guy really, and made him move in with her'.) Haha. Let'm guess...