Sliding feet

One of the outcomes from the picnic the other day, apart from learning about men shaving their legs, was that my feet were not as nice as they should be. Saw another woman with nicer-looking feet than I have, and my competition instinct awoke. So yesterday I had a footbath, scraping off all the dead skin, finishing off with putting my feet in oily water. Extra virgine olive-oil mind you. Friggin expensive. Then sticking my feet into woollen socks, nearly dying of heatstroke (you know the saying about keeping your feet warm keeps your body warm?) but I gotta tell you. My feet were as smooth as a babys bottom (or so I guess, I wouldn't have a clue). When confronted with something better I will compete!