Kids, kids everywhere

I know, it's been a while. Not that I haven't had something to say, but time flies and enough with excuses.

Today I was at a birthday party with plenty of kids. The birthday person herself had reached an age even older than me (!), but with a large family there was no getting away. There were kids friggin everywhere! If I wanted to move my chair I had to look out. But I have to admit. They were well behaved.

The thirteen kids aging between 1 and 17 were quiet in comparison to the two monsters living next door. Which leads me to believe that after two kids, they start to educate each other and the parents get more relaxed. I saw food being passed on to the kid being more hungry, kids taking care of each other without bothering the parents, and we the adults could have uninterrupted conversations.

If all parents could be like that, I wouldn't dislike kids so much. Yeah right, in my dreams.

I love kids

Ok, let me rephrase that. I love people, who happens to be parents, throwing a birthday party for a 3-year-old. Or rather, not. They didn't throw a birthday party, that'll come later, but I was there and we, the grownups, were having wine and cake and funny conversations. The kids were playing on their own, which was perfectly fine with me.

Any reason for a party is a good one if you ask me.

Kids everywhere

I don't understand this urge to procreate. Is it to show that your genes are so good that they need to live on "forever", or is it just because most other people do it? I don't get it.

Tonight I was invited to my neighbours. They are leaving the building to move to a more child-friendly place. I knew it! After they told me they were going on vacation in a very small vehicle, I knew that they were gonna come back pregnant. And right I was. Number two is on its way.

And while there another neighbour rang the door. Another one preggie! I cannot believe it! What is it with "my" house that makes people wanna infect it with little people?

Personally, if I were to rent an apartment, I would choose older people, or perhaps a gay couple, a more stable renter. Not a straight couple in their 30's. So far three of them have broken up, and one are moving on with a kid and another one on the way.

I guess we have to rename it from the "divorce flat" to the "kid flat". Hmmm.

Outrageous!

The other day I learned that dogs have to pay for a ticket on the buses, trams and trains. I find that ridiculous, since kid trolleys are for free! These strollers are huge and block the space for several people, whereas a dog lies or sits on the floor in a corner away from people.

Fortunately there seems to be an initiative underway to reduce the price for dogs. Unfortunately kids will still be allowed for free. Something ain't right.

Plan B

Was hanging out at my neighbours place this evening. They buy me dutyfree ciggies, and who am I to say no to that? What I didn't expect was that I am their plan B on Monday.

Turns out their babysitting help is sick and they're not sure the after-school people can take her, and they asked me if I would be plan B if it doesn't work out.

Yes, they know very well my view on kids, but on the other hand I've seen this particular one since she was born and think I can teach her a thing or two.

Like cooking. She doesn't know about healthy food, and she certainly doesn't know how to prepare it. So if plan A doesn't work out, she's gonna learn a thing or two about food, whether she likes it or not.

At my place children know their place, if you get my meaning. If she knew about plan B, I'm sure she would protest. Or maybe not.

Kid 5

It is strange to think that a kid would be close to me, and a child that isn't even related. But she is. And today she turned 5. I knew that she would have a kid party in the afternoon, so I stayed miles away, but in the evening I knocked on the door, presenting her with painting material. She's very good with that.

And as it turned out some other neighbours were there too, and it turned into a party. We were chatting, having discussions about everything and nothing, all while the kid in question were painting away.

A good excuse for a party I'll say.

April weather all year around

Kids are really predictable. I was out walking today with a friend including a 2-year-old. It was everything from smiling being a charmer, which I like, to screaming ('cause he didn't get to taste the wine...I'm leaving you with that thought), to sitting down refusing to move, and walking at a snails pace (when walking at all). Which I don't like.

But it seems that I have mellowed with age. I no longer care so much. What will be will be kind of.

And as long as I don't have to take the little monster home with me, I'm happy. And it makes me happy that my friend(s) with kids are equally happy.

Isn't it great to live in a democracy where we all can choose what we want?

Salt of the earth

When I was a kid, children knew their place. I'm not saying that we were suppressed or abused, but we knew when to keep quiet and to let other people be the center of attention. And yes, I may have changed since I was a child before you comment.

But I draw the line at food. I was invited for dinner, and because it apparently is fatal for children to eat salt, four adults were served an otherwise delicious lasagna that tasted of....nothing. Just because one child was having a small slice.

Personally I think it's gone too far.

I have an old cousin who is above pension age, and he is still alive despite his father smoking in the car when he was little. I know loadsa older people who are healthy despite having had salt in their food. I even know people who smoke themselves that are still alive!

But I also know people with injuries, like sporting people! There are broken bones and arms, twisted ankles and split tendons.

So please, let us all have a little salt in our food. Life is too short not to enjoy.

Ignore the kid

I met with a kid today, and really, I don't get the point. They cannot walk, not speak, they scream and yet demands attention at all times. Plus if you leave them alone for one second, they break something.

This particular one was screaming while sitting next to me in the back seat of a car (yes, I was denied the front seat since it was full of baby paraphernalia), and screaming, tears running. I ignored. And whaddayaknow, a few minutes later she stopped. I bet it was because I ignored her, and didn't care. I knew she was fed and changed, and didn't have a reason whatsoever to scream.

Later I thought what the hell, let's give it a go, so that I can at least seem to be half-interested (and after having a song-book shoved in my face by the mother), I decided to teach her some songs including the appropriate movements. But I gotta tell you, itsy bitsy spider doesn't do it for me anymore.

Nah, I'll wait until she grows up. Then I'll teach her a thing or two. She already seemed to be interested in my cig pack and my glass of wine. There's hope yet.

Charmed by a boy

This afternoon I almost understood the point of having kids. Almost.

From being a bit of a monster, screaming and acting weirdly, this little guy decided to show the benefits of what he learned in charm-school today. Big time.

He was smiling, being charming and in general a (small) person who you'd take to. Mind you, I think it had something to do with us visiting my second living room :). He was banging his wee hands against the table when they were playing. May have to work a little bit on the rhythm though.

Too bad I wasn't allowed to post his smile on the blog.

Me a teacher

Not sure what made me think of it, but not many people know that I worked as a teacher for a couple of years in my youth. I was under the false impression that I liked kids, and wanted to practise as an extra teacher before I went on for the formal education. Of course I never did.

I those days I had two jobs. One, where I would be called in in the morning by a school that needed somebody to stand in for a sick teacher, and the other one working for my ex-friends parents, who had a book-binding factory. There I worked as an assistant in the office, using a type-writer for producing address labels or running a coffee cart through the factory at precise times.

But what I remember was a class of kids being 12-years-old at the time, having a teacher who broke a leg and I was asked to stand in. I was 19 at the time. I loved it!

My first action was to change the benches they were sitting at, so that they were in clusters of four (making them promise to put the benches back before their regular teacher came back). Also, it was I who decided who sat with whom. Naturally I put the "problem kids" with the kids with good behaviour. I remember it being a very fun time.

The broken leg took five weeks to recover, and I was in charge all this time. I cannot understand why the rector allowed it, but he did and I cherish the experience.

Not only did I teach all sorts of subjects, like science, maths, religion, social studies and even gymnastics, but it gave me a self confidence (yes I can!) that I have carried with me until today.

Funny to think that I have kids to thank for the life I have chosen to live :).

Trek and ladybugs

I had a very difficult day today. I had to trek into the wilderness, and walk all the way uphill from a distant train station to the destination. I took 20 minutes and was uphill big time. Ok the first eight minutes were straight ahead on a big road, but then! Uphill at a degree never seen before. And there were animals! Not wild mind you, but still.

When I arrived, sweaty and swearing (ok, not loud) they laughed at me. Saying it took them only eight minutes to walk the same distance. When pressed it turned out that they meant downhill! Yeah, of course. So not the same thing!

And the theme of the day was ladybugs. There were ladybugs everywhere from the decoration, to the wings on the birthday girl to the food to mats on the floor to the cake to...

I was actually thinking the other day when I found a live ladybug in my flat to bring it as a present ('cause the oldfashioned paper invitation was in the form of...you-know-what), but decided against it in the end. But if they keep it up with these crazy theme-thing they may be in for a surprise next year!

A kid with taste

I've been invited to yet another baby birthday party. Oh dear! Not sure I'm up to it, but it was funny the other day when I met the neighbours kid, who is now...oh lemme think...I think 3,5 years old, and she tugged my shirt, saying "it's purple".

Yes indeed. And she might not be as impossible as I thought.

Kid stuff

It's funny with people with kids. When they come to visit, they are accompanied by...well stuff. Paraphernalia in excess. There are clothes, diapers (ok, that I am grateful for), but also toys, books, water bottles (which the kid in question often throws on the floor), crackers (what is it with crackers? all I know is that the remainder is on my floor when they leave), trolleys, blankets and who knows what else.

Plus they never friggin shut up. The older they get, the louder they become it seems.

Nah, now I'm gonna relax on my brand new sofa and enjoy the smell of new leather. Quietly.

Baby blog

My neighbours have a new baby. It's nothing like the last one, who was attention-seeking (still is..."Annika, come on the balcony with me, look at this (turned out to be a dead insect), bla-bla-bla"). This new one is lovely. Quiet, gurgling, smiling, and sleeping in a crowd that is loud.

If I would have chosen to have kids, this one would be it. Unfortunately I've heard you cannot give'm back if you don't like'm.

And she has a blog.

Stuff

Was visiting a couple with a kid today. When they were new parents they said that their kid wouldn't be spoiled, and not have too many things. HA!

Five years

It is no news to friends of mine that I do not get along very well with my Bro's wife. However, I have put in a lot of effort to change that, as you also know.

I have visited many times, I have tried to be positive, I have taught her how to bake, I have been open since she's the one my brother chose. To no avail it seems.

Although "you're always welcome here", she has not visited me one time in one and a half years. First it was because of my cats, and now it's because of my smoking. "I will not expose my daughter to smoke".

Does she think that I blow smoke in the face of a baby? My friends who visit here know better. Friends with babies will not have to worry, I smoke under the fan. And none of my non-smoking friends have ever complained about it smelling smoke in my apartment.

So I guess I won't see my niece in five years, since that's what Bro's wife said. Good luck with not exposing the baby to life.

Spitting image

I was visiting a baby again today. It's funny, I don't know what I looked like when I was little but I have seen pictures. Spitting image, if you ask me. Very round face, and a bit of a belly. Just like I was. Until I was one years old I was basically square, as round as I was tall.

Then I started to walk, and got skinny as a stick! Oh I wish those days were here again.

I have a picture of me in my early teens, or maybe just eleven. I was so skinny you cannot believe.

Anyway, gave a picture book to the tiny one and explained all of the pictures of animals twice. I expect she'll know them all in her mother tongue next time I see her. After all, she's 4,5 months now, and how difficult can it be?

And at the same time I told her what the names were in her mother tongue, I told the mother. She needs to learn too! There is no way I want my niece to speak some unintelligible language I cannot understand.

Yes, I worked as a teacher for two years in my youth. And now it's coming back to haunt those in need. HA!

At the hospital

So I went to visit a new one today. 3.6kg's and around half a meter long. She looked like all newborns do. A bit reddish and tiny.

Fortunately the parents know me, so they didn't expect ooh-ing and aah-ing over something you don't really know what to say about.

But the parents were oh so different from the last time. First time they were all over the place, worrying about this and that, overwhelmed and unfocused. Today they were calm and collected, and seemed like normal people.

At our entrance we have a whiteboard and yesterday I drew a stork (well tried to) to welcome the new one. Somebody has improved it by putting a baby in the thingie that hangs from the storks beek (oops forget to add the baby!). But at least I tried.

And the new one seems determined. A wee bit angry and hungry. She can go far!

Another kid

I have a friend who is pregnant. Very pregnant. Her first child was delivered with a c-section, and her second will also be seeing the world thru her Mums belly.

Second week in January it is planned.

Considering the state of her, I asked if she could hold out that long, and she told me she is already open a bit so maybe not. And if you ask me, the expert, she could've popped in my living room.

When talking to the Dad about the same topic, i.e. having a kid born on this side of the year or next, makes a difference in school and so forth.

That's when I learned the cut-off date is April here in Switzerland. April? Interesting.

Anyway, Dad's view is better she pops this year, "'cause it's better for tax reasons".

I am so happy I was born in an era when I was just welcome to the world.